Take This as an Apology
by HOUSEaholic
Summary: *Ch3 up!* Ayame keeps trying to get close Yuki who can't let the past go and move on. When flu season hits the Sohma's hard, Ayame watches over his ill brother. Events from their childhood are relived and feelings are slowly laid out in the open. NO SLASH
1. Chapter 1

_Hey everyone! _

_This is my first Fruits Basket story. I haven't written fanfiction in a few years so any comments/suggestions/constructive criticism is most certainly welcome! Oh and I am currently reading the manga, but not very far in yet so I apologize if I haven't got the characters quite right (I'm mostly working from the anime)._

_I don't own Fruits Basket any of the characters._

_~Leesh_

**Take This as an Apology**

**Chapter One: Here Comes Trouble**

"I'm hungry!"

The orange-haired teen grumbled unhappily, stomping around the kitchen restlessly. He fidgeted with a few pots and pans, only to set them down and continue circling the kitchen. His stomach growled angrily and he rubbed his hand across it, looking up at the clock.

"You could just make something yourself you know," muttered the silver-haired teen as he watched his rival rifling through the fridge.

"Meh. Where's Tohru-kun anyways?" He was pulling items in and out from the shelves indecisively as he spoke. "She always has my breakfast ready… just the way I like it too." He sulked, retreating from behind the refrigerator door.

"Leave her alone, she's been really worrying about finals lately." Yuki turned and left the kitchen for the big table, neatly placing his bag beside him when he sat. "You need Honda-san for everything. Did she help you get dressed this morning?" he remarked snidely from through the doorway.

"I don't _need_ anyone!" Kyo's felt his face grow hot and if it weren't for his damn stomach aching for food then he would have been getting into it with his oh-so-neat and ready-to-go-to-school cousin by now.

"Well are you going to make breakfast, then? It give you some purpose for once, dumb rat."

"Good morning children!" Shigure's voice filled the room, cheerful despite the frigid weather outside. He had come in as if on cue, just in time to stop the beginnings of yet another morning argument and Kyo instantly became irritated with him. His opportunity to retaliate to Yuki's words had passed thanks to the stupid dog and his sunny, morning the time again, he frowned.

"Ugh does no one care that it's half past and there's no food on the table?"

"Ah Kyo, stop complaining. Why don't you go and see what's taking so long if you're that impatient." Begrudgingly, the belligerent teen complied and stalked towards the stairs that led to their bedrooms.

Shigure shook his head, a small smile on his lips as he began heating up water for tea. He re-entered the front room, sighing thoughtfully. "Tohru-kun has been working hard at school and keeping this place clean. We should all be a little more helpful during exams week, don't you think?" His question, not meant to be rhetorical, was met by silence. "Yuki?"

The boy had left the table and lingered idly by the entrance of the house. He glanced upwards at his cousin, hair quivering just the slightest bit with the small movement. Both his hands were jammed into his jacket pockets as he leaned quietly against the doorframe.

"What's with you this morning? You're usually more… alert."

"It's early." Clearly the boy wasn't in the mood for talking which puzzled Shigure, but then again it was finals week and Yuki had been packing in a lot of study hours. Before he could further contemplate the matter, Kyo's voice drifted down from the upstairs.

"Shigure! Kyo!" The tone in his voice made them both jump up immediately.

Tohru.

xxx

"It's probably influenza. I've had my hands full all weekend with the rest of the Junniyshi. Akito's got it bad. Not that that should surprise me I suppose." Hatori was, as usual, calm and direct with his instructions. Shigure nodded, listening intently and playing with the telephone cord as he Hatori spoke. "It came so early this year, not everyone has received their vaccinations yet."

"Ah Ha-san is so smart!" Shigure marveled, still smiling despite having to force both Kyo and Yuki to leave for school just a few minutes prior. Kyo had found Tohru curled beneath her blankets, shivering and feverish. Immediately he had yelled for Shigure and from there it became chaos until Shigure convinced the boys that all would be fine and he was perfectly capable of watching after Tohru until school was over. Surprisingly Yuki had come to his aid and hastily dragged the cat from the house before he could pitch a fit over that idea.

"She needs a lot of rest and fluids. Keep Kyo and Yuki away from each other so they don't fight and disturb her. Let her sleep as much as she wants but make sure she eats a little something to keep her strength. Call if you have any questions or if her fever gets worse."

"Don't worry about me." Shigure assured him. "I have everything under control."

Hatori snickered, a bit of playful doubt infiltrating his voice. "Well I'll try and swing by if I can to check in on her and give you all your vaccinations but I probably can't leave unless it's an emergency. Akito's been demanding my time all day and you know how it is when Akito's sick."

The line was silent for a few moments and the statement hung in the air rather awkwardly before anyone spoke again. "Thank you Ha-san, I'll keep in touch."

"Alright Shigure, talk to you soon."

xxx

The lukewarm meal in front of them was definitely mediocre and there was no way to refute that. Shigure sighed, pushing his food around his plate absentmindedly. Across the table, the teens were doing the same. He opened his mouth to say something but fell silent. Everyone was thinking about Tohru and he wasn't sure anything he could say would make either boy any happier.

After they had left from school, he had quietly gone in to check on the girl. She was still burrowed under the covers, cheeks flushed and temperature holding around ninety-nine degrees despite the medication Hatori had instructed to give. She had woken briefly near lunch and managed to eat some soup which she weakly, but politely, thanked him for before returning to sleep. After cleaning the kitchen he had called Hatori once more who reassured him that the fever would probably last for a few days but was okay for the time being. This he had reiterated to the teens who bursting in the door after school immediately inquired about their friend. Apparently even the news that Tohru would be fine in a few days was not enough to assuage their concerns.

After a drawn out twenty minutes, Kyo rose from the table. "I'm going to make tea for Tohru-kun," he announced, leaving the room briskly. Yuki barely nodded, still staring at his nearly full plate. Shigure was beginning to grow worried about his cousin. Yuki's lack of interest in anything since dinner began, especially Tohru's condition was puzzling.

Cautiously he tried to make conversation. "You've been awfully quiet tonight."

Almost immediately, Yuki rose from the table as well, ignoring Shigure's comment. "I'm going to check on Tohru," he murmured, leaving Shigure puzzled and alone with all the leftovers andan empty room.

xxx

After leaving the bathroom, Shigure frowned looking at his cousin's bedroom door. He had not seen ot heard from the teen since he left the dinner table. Even Kyo wasn't able to get a rise out of the rat as they passed each other in the hall. Pausing before the door, he knocked lightly against the doorframe. "Yuki?"

"Yeah, come in Shigure."

Shigure slid open the door. Yuki was at his desk, books open as usual. He looked exhausted, shoulders slightly slumped and hair mussed. Papers were spread out in front of him, each covered in neatly printed notes. The bed was neatly made and Shigure almost wanted to laugh at the cleanliness of the room because he was nowhere near that neat at that age.

"You didn't eat much at dinner."

"It wasn't exactly gourmet food." The answer was quick and edged with annoyance, unusual for Yuki's generally quiet nature. As he spoke, the boy rose and neatly closed the books, stacking them in an organized pile.

"Well I'm nowhere near as good as Tohru-san," Shigure paused as a smile filled his face "but she's simply amazing!" he laughed trying to lighten the mood in the room. Yuki ignored him, shuffling about the room and gathering his pajamas and towel. Shigure stopped grinning like a small child and watched Yuki intently.

"That and I know you well enough to know that you get grumpy when you're sick." Yuki paused for a moment, turning away. Shigure gently asked "Are you feeling okay? Perhaps you've caught Tohru's bug."

"M-fine Gure-san." He made to leave the room but Shigure's hand shot out blocking the doorway as Yuki tried to pass. The light playing off his slender features made him seem especially pale and Shigure was worried that Yuki wasn't being entirely truthful with him.

"Oh no you don't." Shigure placed a hand across the boy's forehead, feeling heat radiating from it before their skin even made contact. He was right, his cousin had a fever.

"Bed. Now." Yuki opened his mouth in protest but Shigure abruptly cut him off. "Ah- no questioning me or I'll bring Hatori over here. And I mean that," he warned.

"You wouldn't." Yuki looked up, eyes narrowing at his older cousin. "You know I hate it when he goes overboard treating me."

"Then slow down and rest. School can wait. Kyo and I are capable of taking care of Tohru. I know you hate when people single you out, but you especially have to be careful. I don't think I need to remind you about the endurance run episode."

Yuki sighed, sitting on the bed. "Fine. But I'm okay on my own. It's Tohru that needs your attention."

Shigure chuckled and patted the boy on the shoulder. "Just take it easy, I'm going to make some tea." He left the room, musing to himself. _Well the next few days should be interesting._

xxx

Morning came more quickly than Shigure would have liked. The sun was streaming through the windows as Shigure entered the living room. He was almost surprised that nobody was downstairs at the table, but then he remembered that half the house was currently incapacitated. Both children were no worse, but by no means better and therefore not going to school.

"Kyo?" He looked around for the orange-haired boy. "Kyo hurry up or you're going to be la-"

The sound of shuffling footsteps made him turn around. The boy appeared wearily at the top of the stairs looking quite disheveled with a few strands of flame-colored hair damp and stuck to his forehead. Shigure only needed one look to figure out what was wrong.

"You caught it too, huh."

He sighed heavily, shaking his head in frustration as he reached for the phone.

"I hope Hatori's around."

xxx

"They all need rest. Keep Kyo and Yuki away from each other so they don't try and fight. Try and get them all drink tea, water. I assume you kno the drill from yesterday." Hatori sounded much more tired than he had the day before and Shigure figured Akito had kept him up through most of the night.

"And how are you doing Ha-san?" The question was lighthearted in tone but sincere in nature.

"Not any worse than usual Gure-san. Speaking of, pay attention to your body too. Eat, sleep, and stay hydrated. The last thing we need is for you to also come down with the virus."

"I understand. Thank you Ha-san."

xxx

He was stuck. The pen seemed to be mocking him as he stared at the blank page laid out on the desk. Nearly three hours had crawled by and still no ideas had filtered from his jumbled brain to the paper. At least he didn't have that damned assistant of his running after him shouting "Sensei, sensi!" He chuckled a bit. At least there was one upside to flu season.

He thought of Hatori's warning and sighed. The past day had been spent running around between the three bedrooms, dispensing tissues, tea, and cool towels to the three ailing children. He found it interesting the way that an illness could warp one's personality. Ironically, Kyo was the whiny and oh-woe-is-me patient that required things every half hour while Yuki was surly, reserved, and generally grumpy but self-sufficient. Any food or drink left my his bed was consumed and he spent most of his time quietly reading or sleeping. Tohru was by far the best patient, thanking him for her food and inquiring about the others before falling into a gentle sleep.

As he continued to stare at the page, a rather loud and booming voice startled him and he nearly topple backwards off the chair in which he had been leaning back. Poking his head around the corner quizzically, he was surprised to see his cousin, hair and red robe dramatically flowing as he glided across the room. "Aya-san!"

"Ah! Gure-san my handsome." The man ran to him, caressing his face before spinning around and crossing the room. "I ran into Ha-san and he told me that my little brother was sick. I came to check on him as a big brother should!"

Shigure nodded. "It appears that all three of them have caught the flu. I'm not so sure you'll want to spend much time here. It's contagious you know."

Ayame grinned, still floating around the room, his long hair following suit. "I won't be long haha. Just long enough to get Yuki's things and we'll be on the way."

"Get Yuki's things?" He was puzzled at Ayames statement.

"Ahahaha, I shall be taking my brother with me. What better care can you get than from me!" He pulled a bag from somewhere inside his robes and proceeded towards the stairs. Shigure opened his mouth in protest but was interrupted by yet another knock on the door.

Ayame beat him to it, flinging it open and posing with all thirty-something of his sparkling teeth showing. "Ha-san!"

Hatori, as exhausted as he looked, perked up when he saw both of his friends. "Aya-san, what are you doing here?" Ayame was humming to himself absentmindedly as he flitted about the two men.

"He's come to apparently take Yuki to his house."

"Oh?" Hatori raised an eyebrow, looking at his friend.

"It's true. After you told me my little brother was ill I prepared my place and then came here to pick him up." He frowned playfully. "But Gure-san doesn't seem to trust me."

"I just worry about Yuki's reaction. He's fine here; quiet, resting, and under my care which he barely tolerates as is." Shigure looked back at Ayame apologetically.

Hatori looked down thoughtfully and then spoke up. "I am the only one who can control him you know Shigure. I say let him-" he shook his head as Shigure resisted, "if anything it will keep him and Kyo from racing each other to get better or quarreling while they should be resting." He put his hand on a concerned looking Shigure with understanding in his voice. "He'll be closer to me as well Gure-san. Just… just in case."

Shigure nodded, agreeing to give in on this one. It certainly was going to make his life easier and it did make him feel a bit better knowing if Hatori was needed he had easier access to Ayame's place. "I'll let Yuki know, albeit he won't be pleased with this situation."

"Ah but who better than to hear it from than me! His big brother!" Ayame cheerfully explaimed as he went bounding up the steps.

"Ayame!" Hatori went running after him with a you-better-stay-in-line tone coating his words. Shigure stood at the bottom of the steps, running his fingers through his hair worriedly as he waited for the cries of protest that were about to begin. He sighed and turned to fetch Yuki's coat.

"Here comes trouble."


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everyone. Thanks for the warm responses! Things have been a bit hectic with Thanksgiving but I'm glad to be posting this second chapter today. _

_Special thanks to "A Fair Amount of Strife" for catching several mistakes. I was so excited to post I didn't proof read like I should have. But it's always nice to have friendly people to remind you that it's important to double-check. I took some liberties with Ayame's home location and living situation, hope it's alright with my readers. Sorry there still hasn't been much reliving of the past yet, I promise it's coming soon._

_Thanks once again!_

_~Alicia_

**Call This an Apology**

**Chapter Two: I Don't Want You**

He had to be dreaming.

Yes, that must be what this was- some sort of strange fever dream. He stared out the window as he thought about the events that had unfolded thus far. For most of the early morning, he had been laying warm and sleeping in his own bed, but in one horrible instant he had been awakened by the boisterous cries of his pompous brother. There was no possible way that Shigure would allow Ayame to gather up his things, tossing them gaily into a bag and passing a sweatshirt and jacket to him as tried to process what was going on. And it was certainly unlikely that Hatori would stuck up for the snake, listing reasons as to why they were leading him outside into the cold, and ushering him into the waiting car. Even most unlikely was the notion that despite being sick with the flu, Yuki Sohma was being carted off to Ayame's home in the midst of mid-morning traffic

There was a load squeal of tires forcefully grating against road as Ayame slammed on the brakes suddenly, trying to avoid rear-ending a car in front of him. Yuki lurched forward, the seatbelt catching him quickly. His head spun with an unwelcome wave of dizziness was brought about by the sudden movement. There was a soft thwack as the small mirror mounted to the drivers-side sunshield snapped closed and Ayame's hand returned to the steering wheel as he blushed sheepishly.

"Hey! Stop looking at yourself and pay attention to the road." He grumbled angrily, closing his eyes, his hands drifting upward to rub his temples. It was bad enough he felt weak and wanted to go back to sleep, but now all the beeping and honking was making the heavy sensation in his head escalate into a throbbing headache in addition to the lingering lightheaded feeling.

He groaned, slouching in his seat. This was definitely no dream and he was praying it was some sort of joke but at this point he wasn't expecting Shigure or Hatori to come rescue him. Groaning again, he crossed his arms angrily cursing his two cousins under his breath. He wasn't sure why they agreed to the current situation but he was pretty sure it wouldn't matter because even excellent reasoning would not make him any less bitter. He sighed and Ayame turned his head to throw a half-curious, half-concerned glance sideways at him, nearly drifting out of his lane and sideswiping a large truck.

"Ayame! Pay attention to the road or you're going to kill us both!" He choked loudly, springing upright and bracing himself against the dashboard. This day was seemingly going from bad to worse very quickly. Settling down once more, he leaned against the cool glass of the window and closed his eyes. The vibrations from the engine and the warmth of the heat were making him sleepy and somewhere between the busy intersection and the next turn, he began to doze, floating somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness.

Twenty minutes later, the wheels of the car came to a stop and Yuki was jolted awake by the sudden cesing of motion. "Well that wasn't so bad!" Ayame flashed his usual grin from the drivers seat, but Yuki could see the undertones of embarrassment lurking beneath. Somehow, he still felt no sympathy for his brother who continued to speak. "Leave it to your brother to get you safely home." He laughed, exiting the vehicle and retrieving the luggage from the back seat. Yuki sleepily stepped out, pulling his jacket tighter against the cold. They were parked in front of Ayame's modest, an ironic word to use, they had first arrived, a small burst of panic had swept Yuki before he opened his eyes and realized where they were. He'd forgotten that his brother had since chosen to move out from the big house as well, taking up residence above his shop. He vaguely remembered Shigure telling them that it made running the business easier for Ayame. That was all he really remembered being mentioned, but he rarely paid attention to anything happening in his brother's life.

"Ah Yuki-san. I'm so happy that you're coming to stay. I've tried to make the place cozy for you so that you can recover faster and be back to your old self in no time!"

"I'm still my old self, stop trying to change me," Yuki retorted, just quietly for Ayame to miss what he said. "Can we go, it's cold," he commented, louder this time.

"Ah yes. Let's get you inside." Ayame agreed, leading the way. It took a great deal of his energy to climb the steep stairs to the second floor of Ayame's building. The staircase was narrow, making him feel slightly claustrophobic and hanging onto the metal railing for more than a few seconds at a time was impossible as the poorly insulated passageway was just as cold as the outside winter air. Ayame rummaged around in the pocket of his crimson robes until he produced a gold key which he used to open the locked wooden door in front of them. Tiredly, the rat stepped over the threshold and entered Ayame's home.

Warm air instantly greeted his chilled cheeks and nose and his body relaxed a bit at the inviting atmosphere he was entering. Looking around curiously he examined his brother's roomy living room which spanned the majority of the space in front of him. It was lavishly decorated, mostly in tones of red, with a very cozy feel being projected from the plump looking sofa to the right. On the left-hand side stood a darkly-stained wood desk littered with an abundance of drawings, pens, and fabric swatches. Beside the desk was a bin full to the brim of sewing supplies and to the left of that a shiny silver sewing machine perched on a wrought iron stand. Straight ahead, the living area melded into a modest kitchen, complete with dark cabinets and an ornately carved table fit for two set near the corner. To the right of the kitchen a small door was cracked leading to, presumably, the bathroom and a hallway stretched out of view leading to what Yuki understood must be Ayame's bedroom. Despite all of the dark woods and rich colors, ample lighting made the ambience very comforting.

Ayame's smile was stretched from ear to ear as he watched his younger brother's face intently. Yuki noticed and looked away quickly, but not forgetting the look of pride on the snake's face. Although he would never admit it, he rather enjoyed what he had seen so far. Ayame's gaze didn't linger for much longer and he finally stopped, picking up Yuki's bag and placing it by the couch.

"Brother!" Yuki winced at the loud outburst, becoming much more aware that the achiness and headache he'd been battling for the past 24 hours had not left his body. Ayame looked apologetic and quickly dropped his voice, making him sound quite different than Yuki was accustomed to. "Let me show you to your room." He started down the hall, towards a closed door, swinging it open to reveal a surprisingly simply arranged room. "You'll be sleeping here," he patted the dark wood headboard of the large, cozy looking bed.

"But that's your-"

Ayame shook his head. "Yes but you need rest and I am more than willing to give up the couch for that… for you."

Yuki opened his mouth to say something else, but Ayame simply smiled and turned from the bed. "You look tired. I'll leave you to sleep. It was strange to experience Ayame so reserved. In a way, Yuki strangely wanted his brother to return to his colorful self but yet he was grateful that he was not being held subject to the usual flamboyancy that was the snake, especially now that his headache was quite fiercely beating him into submission.

Pushing the door firmly closed behind him, he sighed and pulled his sweatshirt over his head. Neatly folding it, he placed it on top of the black duffel Ayame had filled with his things. If he had been well he would have hesitated before climbing under the thick duvet and taking over his brother's, of all people's, bed. But since arriving, his physical state had declined and all he could think about was deep sleep with the hopes that he would feel better after a nap. Warm and properly buried beneath the blankets, Yuki was reminded briefly of his friend Tohru and his nemesis Kyo. _I should ask Ayame to call and see how they are feeling_, he thought picturing the three of them walking home from school in his mind. It was the last image he saw before sleep overtook his world.

xXx

At the moment, Ayame was wishing that at some point in his life he would have taken cooking lessons.

He stared at the book open in front of him, looking from its pages to the clock frequently. Nervously he straightened out the multiple groups of food he had laid out on the countertop. A large pot of water was boiling rather noisily on the stove, the lid quivering with steam that leaked out from around the rim. The water was about as far as he had gotten aside from taking everything out from the fridge. Frowning, he gingerly picked up the knife and tried to decide where to begin. Leeks he decided finally. Starting with the main ingredient of the soup was probably a good place to being he figured. Checking the clock once more, he wondered how long his brother would sleep for. Perhaps it would be easier to order in some soup and pass it of as his own creation. The thought passed almost as quickly as it came. He was going to make this soup and it was going to be packed full of love and affection for his brother. There was no way that he was going to blow this opportunity. Determined, he traced the next line of the recipe with his finger and began to cook.

xXx

Yuki awoke sometime near noon assuming the clock next to the bed was correct. His head still ached unpleasantly and his mouth was so dry that his tongue felt thick and cumbersome. Wearily he rolled over onto his side, wrapping the blankets closer to his body and curling into the fetal position. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so sick and for a moment he felt quite lonely in the large room. He pushed the feeling aside, obeying the heavy feeling in his head and closing his eyes as he tried to will the throbbing to stop. No such luck. After an eternity, which was probably really only a few minutes he kicked off the covers, appreciating the cool rush of air over his body. Raising a hand to his forehead, he tried to gauge his body temperature but his hands were equally as warm as his face and he couldn't make out a difference between the two. For the next few moments he simply laid on his back, staring up at the black ceiling.

A gentle knock broke the oppressive silence. Ayame's face peeked around the door, cheerful as usual. "Yuki! I'm so sorry to wake you but Ha-san said you needed strength to fight the infection so I made you soup. I thought you could come out and have some… or I could bring it here if you're too tired." He struggled to keep from exuding a mixture of happiness and pride as he spoke.

Yuki's eyes narrowed as if he was about ready to smack the snake in the face for disturbing him but he instead sat up, stretching his legs. "I was already awake- woke up a few minutes ago." He swung his legs to the side of the bed and made to stand. The room tilted slightly as he changed positions and he put a hand firmly on the nightstand to steady himself. He inhaled sharply, trying to shake the off-balance feeling. Ayame instantaneously reacted, moving swiftly to his bedside and beginning to fuss over him."You should stay in bed. I'll bring the soup in here." Yuki was practically thrown onto the bed and smothered in blankets in an instant. "Perhaps I should help you eat," he placed a hand on Yuki's forehead, then his cheek, then the back of his neck. "Maybe soup was a bad idea, you're still quite feverish. I know, cooler foods. I could stick the soup in the fridge…"

For reasons he hadn't quite though out, rage instead of annoyance was building within him as Ayame became increasingly erratic. "Ayame, I'm fine," he tried calmly to no avail. "Please… just- stop." His brother continued to fret and hover over him.

"… oh and I should call Ha-san!"

Yuki couldn't take it any longer and after that last comment and he snapped, pushing Ayame away forcefully. The snake fell silent, looking at him rather hurt. "Yuki…"

"I don't need your help… or Hatori's help… or anyone's help for that matter. His words were bitter and flew out of his mouth in a fountain he couldn't control. Something inside him told him to put on the brakes but he couldn't stop there and the tirade continued. "I don't want your stupid soup or stupid smiles. I don't want your help- I don't want _you_".

His words rang out, filling the room until they faded away leaving the two of them facing each other, heads bowed in silence. Neither moved until Ayame quietly turned, face hidden by the shadows of the dark room and left with his long locks mournfully trailing behind him.

…..

_Thoughts, comments, suggestions…_

_Too descriptive/wordy? _

_Too out of character?_

_Let me know _


	3. Chapter 3

_Oh goodness, sorry to keep everyone waiting. Finals, work, and the holidays ate up all my time but I hope the story will progress a bit more now. I don't know how accurate the past parts will be because I'm still working through the manga but if it's off, then that just makes this AR._

_Thanks again for the support everyone, enjoy!_

**Call This an Apology**

**Chapter Three: Running**

_He was pacing the hallway, barely aware of the rain pummeling the roof of the building. His stomach was tight with nervousness, the feeling distinct and frightening. Even at ten years old, he knew what his mother was going through must be hell. Small noises slipped through the doors behind which his mother, father, aunt, and family doctor were hard at work. The sounds he could make out both intrigued and worried him as he briefly stopped walking in circles to listen to the shuffling of feet, the deep voice of his father speaking wordss of encouragement, and his mother's panting and occasional groans. Every so often he'd stop listening and go back to his anxious ritual until he grew bored with walking and stopped to listen once more. _

_The tension from behind the door grew stronger and he leaned in, pressing an ear and sweaty palms against the wall. His mother was crying out in pain now, his father shouting excitingly. As the birthing process reached a crescendo, all sound ceased. A brief silence settled in the room for a moment before it was shattered by a piercing and lively wail. His brother had arrived. Happiness seemed to pervade the room and through the door he heard congratulatory laughs and sighs of relief._

"_My son… Yuki…" his mother's words were earnest and he could almost hear desperation straining in her voice. "I want to… to hold my son."_

_Increasingly elate at the prospect of being a big brother, he pressed his ear against the door. He heard the continued stream of his baby brother's screams, the sound of people shuffling around delighfully, his mother still pleading to cradle her child and then- Ayame's life changed forever._

_Yuki's cries ceased abruptly and were replaced with one horrific and drawn out howl of despair. Clattering and banging obscured any audible conversation and he stumbled back from the wall, grasping at the door handle and yanking it open. Before him played out a scene from some sort of horrific nightmare that he would never be able to erase from his mind._

_His mother lay writhing on the bed, moaning and sobbing on top of the stained sheets. His father stood with eyes wide and mouth gaping by her bedside, trying to offer his hand as she weakly pushed him away. In the corner was his uncle, cupping his hands protectively as if holding something extremely fragile. He stared at Ayame's small frame lingering by the doorway and wearily lowered his hands so he could visualize their contents._

_Small, pinkish-white, and fuzzy, the thing moved slightly and Ayame glimpsed small ears, beady miniature eyes, and a long wriggling tail before suddenly it was gone and Hatori's father lurched forward, struggling to keep hold of a small, wrinkled and squirming newborn that took its place. _

_His mother quieted for a moment as the baby resumed crying, her eyes darting from her brother and then to Ayame. She shook her head slowly, eyes strangely blank. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. They both weren't… I didn't want another." Ayame trembled at his mother's words, forcing himself to take a step towards her._

"_It's alright mother."_

_Her expression was frightening him. Her lips were tight as she blankly uttered words in a disconnected voice. "I didn't want another one… not another."_

"_But mother I-"_

"_It wasn't supposed to be another. He's just like you!" her eyes were now wide open as her words seeped into his mind like a caustic oil spill. For a moment he froze, searching those wild, inhuman eyes for a shred of his mother's soul. Only grief and pain echoed back in those black pools. Cautiously he stepped forward, his shaking little boys hand ready to offer a touch of comfort._

"_Don't touch me!" she spat._

_Desperately, he tried one last time to find some piece of the mother that he loved, the mother that he treasured for the ten years of his life, to find something somewhere in her changed gaze. He saw nothing and fear crawled up his spine. _

"_Did you hear me? I don't want you here… I don't want that baby and I don't want you."_

_Shaken, he did all he knew to do. He ran. _

_He ran right past his bewildered father and horrified aunt and through the door. He kept running down the hall, past various members of the Sohma household whispering and with no doubt coming to peek in on the commotion. He ran until he was outdoors, feeling rain slap him angrily across the face. He ignored the voices calling his name and the fading patter of footsteps that faded as he outran his two best friends who stood, repeating his name as loud as they could between gulps of air. He ran until he couldn't tell which tears were his and which were from the heavens. He ran until the night was as dark as his mother's cold eyes and his lungs would no longer obey the command to breathe in and out. As he ran, the air became silent and void of all except for his own labored breathing accompanied by the distant rumble of thunder. Finally he stopped running. Stumbling over tree roots, he tripped over the last few steps and clutched onto a nearby tree as him lighting violently flashed through the night above him, splitting the sky in two._

xXx

"He told me he didn't want me."

"He gets like that when he's sick Ayame." Shigure spoke reassuringly into the phone. "I don't know how I've put up with it for the past few years. Mostly I leave him alone when he's not feeling well and he comes around again once he's feeling better."

"I just wanted to help him." His friend sounded both dejected and frustrated, his voice lacking its usual flair. Shigure knew that Yuki and Ayame weren't on the same page yet and there wasn't much he could say but he tried to find the right words for his cousin anyways.

"I know Aya, but he's just as stubborn as you." He laughed softly, twisting the phone cord around his fingers. "Do you remember how stubborn you used to be when we were that age?" The other end remained silent and Shigure stopped there, taking it as a cue to change the subject. "He'll get over it soon enough. You can tell him that Tohru-kun is feeling much better and Kyo is certainly well on his way to recovery. In fact I'm pretty sure he's milking as much attention as he can get right now. He doesn't have a fever and this morning he was bragging about how he's gotten better before Yuki. Kind of like I used to mess with you guys and you knew it but you took care of me anyway." There was a pause and at last a familiar soft chuckle that brought a smile to Shigure's face.

"Ah Gure-san."

"Mmm?"

"You always know how to charm me." A bit of flirty mischievousness was sprinkled in his tone. He was glad to hear his friends usual self come back.

"Aya-san you flatter me."

"And why not shower my love with compliments?" Shigure laughed again, visualizing the smirk Ayame must be wearing on the other end.

"Give him the update on Tohru-kun and Kyo, that will put him in better spirits. Call if there are any problems. I should go make the children some dinner."

"Ah… Gure-san?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks…" There was a pause and Shigure heard sincerity in Ayame's voice for a brief moment before it was gone and replaced with his usual tone. "Goodbye my handsome I shall call you soon!"

There was a click and he was gone.

**xXx**

A peculiar smell slowly roused him sleep. Annoyed, he groaned softly, turning away from the scent aware that his head was still achy and throat painfully dry. He pulled the sheets closer and curled up on the opposite side of the bed. The warmth generated from this cozy little nest began to bother him and after a few seconds, he threw the blankets off of his body, stretching out and trying once more to drift back to sleep. Moments later, he was shivering again and fumbling for the covers he had hastily banished to the end of the bed. The aroma was still there, lingering, and as if commanded too, his stomach let out a deep grumble. Giving up and propping himself up against the headboard, he looked at the nightstand. A glass of water, cup of tea, and steaming bowl of soup were laid out carefully, spoon and napkin included. A twinge of guilt itched at him as he looked at the simple, yet thoughtful setup and remembered his last words to his brother.

Taking care not to spill, he brought the lavishly decorated bowl to his lap. _He would have a bowl like this, _Yuki thought to himself, stirring the contents around suspiciously. Debating, he peered down at the concoction. It could be terrible like Shigure's sorry attempts at cooking or amazing like Miss Honda's dinners although he doubted Ayame could cook like Tohru could. He seriously doubted that anyone could make food like that girl did. Blowing the steam from a spoonful, he decided he should try it seeing as his very much awake belly was now aching for sustenance.

Surprisingly, it wasn't half bad. Once a few spoonfulls made it down his sore throat and into his stomach, he felt warmer. It felt nice against his throat as well and hungrily he devoured it all, downing the water as well. When he finished, he placed the bowl back on the nightstand and leaned back against the solid wood of the bed, satisfied. For a few moments he dozed in and out of light sleep, his head still feeling heavy. Jolting awake as his head bobbed forward, the thought occurred to him that he should bring the bowl back to Ayame.

Sluggishly he shuffled across the bedroom to the hallway and silently headed to the kitchen. "Yuki!" Surprised, he winced, his head throbbing at the pitch of his brother's exclamation. Ayame seemed to notice and dropped his voice a level almost immediately. "Are you okay? What are you doing up? You should be-"

"I just thought I'd bring this back to you," he interrupted hastily. It was apparent that despite the previous altercation, Ayame was still going to be persistent in his over-the-top ways. With his head still pounding and his body oscillating between hot and cold, he was not in the mood for another quarrel. He walked towards the kitchen stubbornly, still holding the bowl.

"Yuki, let me take that. " Ayame had left the couch and was taking the dish from his hands. He looked up, catching the concern in his brother's gaze. Looking away he turned around, still thinking about what he had said earlier.

"It was good- the soup." He was uncomfortable with his words, trapped between wanting to apologize and not wanting to.

Ayame did not thank him, also looking quite determined to not give in so easily. Instead, he changed the subject rather quickly. "Shigure called. Honda-san is feeling much better and Kyo is- well. Kyo is Kyo and ready to take you on the second you walk in the door haha." His laughed was more nervous than usual but his next words came with a genuine smile. "You know, you three remind me a lot of your cousins and myself."

Inside, he snorted begrudgingly. _Yeah, until you left. I would never leave my family. _That was what they were to him really, a family. The family he didn't know. Even Kyo he supposed was like the brother he never had a chance to fight with growing up. Ironically enough, he realized, here he and his brother by blood stood, awkwardly trying to remain civil long enough to make small talk.

Ayame was studying him, and he continued to avert his eyes from the older man. It was really starting to irritate him.

"I don't hate you Yuki."

He almost looked up at the words, but stubbornly kept his eyes fixed on the decorative wallpaper of the living room. Waiting, he expected more but the statement ended there, hanging in the room like an elephant. He chose not to respond, but to do what he always did and run. Run away from the situation, run away from his brother, run until he was alone with his thoughts. He rose, walked away for the umpteenth time in his life, and retreated to the bedroom.

Once alone, he approached the large mirror by the closet. Studying his reflection, he stared until he wasn't sure what he was looking for. A cough brought him back to reality and he rubbed his chest anxiously. His throat felt tight all of a sudden and he nervously reached into the side pocket of his bag, hands closing around his inhaler and drawing it out. Still looking at himself, he shook the small device and inhaled, feeling the constriction fading as the medication kicked in. Shakily he returned to the bed, curling up under the covers and placing the inhaler by the bed. _It's nothing_, he told himself. _Just a fluke. Stupid Ayame getting me all worked up._ With trembling hands he grabbed a fistful of covers and fell into as fitful sleep, mind running in circles and never really stopping even in rest.

xXx

He stood alone in the kitchen, warm water flowing over his hands as he absentmindedly rinsed out the bowl his brother had been using. Looking out the window he softly murmured. "That's where we're the same brother… we run. We've been running our whole lives."


End file.
